I stopped. Not without an effort. The Ego is used to having to prove its right to exist by Doing. It is driven by the fear of non-existing. It knows that once I connect to the space, to the silence and to the Spirit that dwell in Non-doing, I will open my eyes to the lies, the Ego has been feeding me. It still tries to blackmail me with guilt. Sometimes I even give in. But sometimes I don’t. I love gliding effortlessly through each day, just enjoying the views. Every morning is different than the previous one. Why didn’t I bother to see it before? Why many people still don’t?
In the space and the silence, I’m trying to remember who I am. I don’t even know what makes me feel good. For years I wore masks put on by the Ego, fulfilling it’s needs for acceptance, proving its importance, while it was not important at all. I lived from the place of fear and acted from the place of low self worth. I lost myself.
What do I want from life?
“You don’t get what you want. You get what you are”.
What am I? Who am I? What makes me happy?
Yesterday I remembered that I like to stay up late. So I did. I stayed up way past the ghost hour, learning who I am through the Art of Doing Nothing. The Ego was asleep. It was past its bedtime.