I exist. Don’t I? How can one know if his existence is real? In the world of many different perspectives and illusions, it’s not so easy to determine what’s real and what’s not. Human senses can be easily fooled. The mind believes what it wants to believe. What is real? What is true?
Some people define themselves through other people’s attention. “If they see me, than I am important. If I’m important that I exist”. So they do whatever is necessary to be visible, to be known, to be popular. They shout at the top of their lungs: “Here I am!!!”
Some people want that special someone to need them and to tell them how important they are. They need to be needed. All the time. They can give and give and give just to hear, that what they give is necessary to someone. That another person depends on them. That someone cannot live without them. And only then they are convinced that they exist.
Some people test their physical limits to feel that they are alive. They might train in martial arts or some kind of sport. Or maybe something more extreme – cliffhanging, sky-diving, surfing … whatever keeps the blood boiling and adrenaline pumping. They need that tremor of excitement mixed with fear to prove to themselves that they exist.
Some people know that they exist when they are filled with emotions. Not just the ordinary feelings, but the kind of emotions that can overcome one’s whole body, mind and soul. Strong, overwhelming desire. Life-draining sorrow. Laughing till their stomachs hurts. Being so scared that they can’t move. They get addicted to feeling. Feeling means being alive.
And then there are people, who can only be sure of their existence when they feel their body. And what’s more convincing than physical discomfort and pain? The pain, the illness, the suffering from a disease. “My body hurts. If I have the body, I exist.” If the pain is strong enough, one can feel it with their mind and their soul.
I wonder – can it be that some people are so afraid of non-existence that they create their own pain through disease, illness and accidents? Just to assure themselves that they are alive?
“Pinch my arm, just so I’m sure I’m not dreaming …”
Who needs the proof of their existence? Who cares about it so much to endanger the existence itself, only to know that it’s real? The Spirit is eternal. It always IS in one form or another. The Spirit doesn’t need a proof, it knows. Ego is temporary. And it fools you into believing that you must proof your existence in some way or you will disappear. Only Ego can disappear. The Spirit always lives. You are the Spirit.