The tears … the tears … they can’t seem to come out … They stop at the edge of reason. I feel them deep inside with a yearning for air and light. Tears have a natural need to flow out of the eyes and then to be dried by the gentle breeze and warm rays of the sun.
Once they fulfill their purpose they can just rest and give their old space to warm tickles of relief. Relief then turns into a kind of peace – whether it comes from conscious agreement with the way things are, or from the act of letting go of control – releasing the need to always be on top of things, to be strong, to be perfect.
Do I still want to be perfect? Is that why I hold onto my tears?
I keep them stuck somewhere between the past and the future, although not in the now. Where are they, really?… Do I need to search for them in the chaos of what has become of my Being?
They seem to be glued to the mysterious sorrow of what I don’t know happened. If I find that place then I will know how to break free. If I could only follow the tears … Tears clear the path to the pain and sorrow.
I know I no longer want my sorrow. I don’t need it anymore. I don’t have to hide behind the veil of despair. I am braver now. But – am I brave enough to face the darkness in order to let it transform into the light? Am I ready to let go of the old me and become who I was meant to be? Am I?…
I feel that I am closer then ever before, and yet – I have never been so lost. I am aware of my own helplessness, caused by the remains of my fears. I am blind and anxious, and at the same time – filled with peace, knowing that what will be, will be when I grow up and become ready.
Be in the moment, connect with the sights, the smells, the sensations. And realize that there is no fear. “Fear is just a product of your imagination”. Where did I hear that?….